Name: Mason
Born: 02/07/1975
Married: 07/15/2000
Lives: North Dakota
Died: 11/19/2046
100 Things
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Saturday, May 31, 2003
Panty Sniffer
Today on the radio they were talking about the title of the new Limp Bizkit cd. It is titled "Panty Sniffer". Then right after they were talking about "Panty Sniffer" they said, "Coming up next, Stained and Bush". Is it just my sick head, or was that weird talking about Panty Sniffer, Stained, and Bush in the same sentence?
What was I thinking?
I gotta blog some more to get that awful picture moved down so I don’t have to see that everytime I come here.
Friday, May 30, 2003
Carnie Wilson in playboy
I think I might be the only one excited about the upcoming issue of playboy. I think the new Carnie Wilson is hot. She may not be super thin, but she is super hot. I wonder if she is going to go all the way and show bush or if she is going to chicken out like Sarah from Joe Millionaire?
TGIF
Here is another picture for Chey. Sorry about the no pants thing. It is no pants Friday.
Your turn?
Thursday, May 29, 2003
Spelling
I always thought I spelled at a third grade level. Now after watching a little bit of the spelling bee on ESPN, I think my spelling is lower than a third grade level. Thank god for spellchecker.
Still alive
I almost shut my blog down today again. This is my third attempt at blogging. It always goes good for a while then I get board with it and close it down. This time I fought the urge and it is still up. Here is what our garden looks like now.
It no longer resembles a gravesite. In a couple of months we should have tons of tomatoes, peppers, carrots, and green beans. Yummmm.
Wednesday, May 28, 2003
Nice butt?
There is something I have always been curious about.
Do I have a nice butt?
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
Chicken and the Horse
My boss told me this joke today at work today. I though it was rather funny.
Once upon a time there was a horse and a chicken who were good friends. They lived on a farmyard with lots of other animals and were very happy. One day, while they were playing near the farm's pond, the horse stepped into a hole of quicksand. The horse rapidly sank and was yelling for his friend, the chicken, to save him. The chicken thought for a minute, then ran back to the farmhouse, and jumped into the farmer's 735csi BMW. Luckily, the keys were in the ignition, and the chicken managed to start the car, and put it in gear. It raced over to the sinkhole, where the horse had almost disappeared by now. The smart chicken tied a rope around the back of the BMW and threw the other end around the front legs of the horse. The chicken hopped back in the driver's seat and stepped on the gas. Ever so slowly, the horse eased out of the quicksand and jumped to safety. The horse, still on shaky legs, stuttered: "You just saved my life. Thank you!" The chicken just said, "Don't mention it - That's what friends are for!!" They returned the BMW and went out to dinner together in the barn yard.
A few days later, the horse got up from a good night's rest, and heard some muffled cries for help coming from the backyard. The horse followed the sounds and came upon a terrible scene. There was his best friend, the chicken, stuck in a hole of quicksand! The sand was already up to its neck-feathers and the cries for help had almost stopped. The horse took a quick look around: No rope in sight And the farmer had gone to town with his BMW. What to do? The horse took a deep breath and spread his body and legs out over the hole. His member was dangling down right above the poor chicken. "Here, my friend, grab my thingie and I will pull you to safety!". With its last bit of energy, the chicken grabbed a hold of the big horse-thingie and the horse straightened its body, pulling the chicken from its trap. With one big step, both were on solid ground and safe. The chicken slumped down on the ground, exhausted: "Now You saved my life, my friend!!" The horse just smiled.
And what is the moral of this story?
If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.
Monday, May 26, 2003
"Do?"
I don't know if Yvonne reads my blog or not. I always get a kick out of hers. I just thought I would let her know that most guys are always wondering what kind of "pubic do" girls got going on. I am always curious when I meet a girl. The first thing I am curious about is what kind of undies she has on, then I always wonder what kind of "do" she had down there, especially if she is a redhead. That is just the perv in me though. I would have to either know the girl really well, or be totally drunk to get enough balls to actually ask someone that. I can't believe I guy ask you about that.
I wish I knew you
A lot of people do different things on Memorial Day. Most people around here go to the lake and party. My Memorial Days are usually spent with my family. We go to the cemetery and pay a visit to my uncle that I never met. He was killed in Vietnam. However, I will not be able to go today because I have to work. I feel bad because this is the third Memorial Day in a row that I have had to work. At least my thoughts are in the right place. Maybe next year I will have Memorial Day off.
Friday, May 23, 2003
Weekend
This weekend if it is nice out we will be putting our garden in. Here is the before picture.
Hmmm
I wonder if Cheyenne knows that Cheyenne is one of Sarah's favorite words.
I love Fridays
I am sitting here with no pants on wishing Letters to Cleo didn't break up listening to Kay Hanley's solo album. I just love her so much, almost as much as Liz Phair.[Listening to: Kay Hanley - Cherry Marmalade]
Thursday, May 22, 2003
Uh-oh!
I tried Uh-oh Oreos today. Why do they keep messing with a good thing? Nothing beats Doublestuff Oreos. Now my next thing to try is that orange Mountian Dew. I bet it is just as crapy as Code Red, "New" Coke, and Crystal Pepsi.
Is it just me?
Don't you hate it when you make a comment on a blog and wanna read if someone else made more comments after you, but you can't remember all the comments you made? Or is that just my problem?
Wednesday, May 21, 2003
Loosing my religion
I just took this religion quiz. I wasn't to surprised by the results.
1. Secular Humanism (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
3. Liberal Quakers (86%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (81%)
5. Nontheist (80%)
6. Theravada Buddhism (77%)
7. Neo-Pagan (61%)
8. Bahá'í Faith (49%)
9. New Age (45%)
10. Taoism (45%)
11. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (42%)
12. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (41%)
13. Mahayana Buddhism (38%)
14. Jehovah's Witness (33%)
15. Reform Judaism (33%)
16. New Thought (31%)
17. Orthodox Quaker (30%)
18. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (29%)
19. Scientology (21%)
20. Jainism (21%)
21. Sikhism (17%)
22. Hinduism (12%)
23. Seventh Day Adventist (11%)
24. Eastern Orthodox (7%)
25. Islam (7%)
26. Orthodox Judaism (7%)
27. Roman Catholic (7%)
Fucked Up System
Tell me this isn't fucked up. A local student could get 5 years in prison for chatting with an adult online and then meeting him. Ok, so the adult was a cop that was lying and saying he was a 16-year-old girl, but still. The guy might get 5 years and he didn't do anything wrong. Sure his intentions weren't good, but since when does having bad intentions get you five years? I have though about killing a few people in the past. Does that make me bad? Should I be locked up? I almost find it creepier that there is a cop trying to pretend he is a little girl and trying to pick up guys.
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
Need Help
Last night before I went to bed I watched Jason Mraz on Jay Leno. All night I dreamt about one of Jason's biggest fans Chey and that picture of Chey with her undies peeking out. What is wrong with me?
Monday, May 19, 2003
Under Where?
Sorry to be such a perv, but I think you can Chey's undies in this picture.
Sunday, May 18, 2003
NOFX
The new NOFX cd rocks. How many band do you know that have writen a song about a chick with no arms and legs?
She's Nubs
It's kinda hard to wear high heels, or slip on banana peels
How does she get in and out of tubs
I hope she dont get mad, I hope she thinks this song is good not bad
Cause we think that she's totally rad, she's nubs.
No fingers, no toes, she doesn't own elbows,
No phalanges no knobby knees to knock
She don't need knuckles or hands to go see punk rock bands
She's always in the stands, she's nubs
She can't pick up a phone, she can't get dressed alone
She's got no funny bone, she's nubs
No shoes for feet but we sure do think she's neat, she's nubs, she's nubs, she's nubs.
I asked her if she want a drink, I asked her if she liked Toronto,
I asked her to go out to the bar, but all she said was no thanks, no and no
It was time for us to leave, so I grabbed and shook her sleeve
and told her I'd see her at the next club she got into a pack
and some guy put her on his back, she said goodbye and kinda waved her stub
She's got beauitful eyes, and breasts regular size,
but without calves and thighs, she's nubs
It's hard to give good head or get tied to a bed,
when all you've got is a body and head, she's nubs
She's nubs, She's nubs, She's nubs...
Oh she may not walk the walk, and she may not like to talk
But boy she sure knows how to rock, she's nubs.[Listening to: NOFX - The War On Errorism]
Saturday, May 17, 2003
Whoo Hooo
I Finally got w.Bloggar to work with the new version of Blogger. Yeah me.[Listening to: NOFX - The War On Errorism]
Weekend?
Not much going on for me this weekend. I am working 36 hours in three days. So it is work sleep work sleep for the next couple of days. I just have one question. How come lately all the "Boobie" links are fark are always farked before I can get there?
Thursday, May 15, 2003
Poop Does The Garden Good
My back is killing me. It is a nice day today so I went and got a truckload of compost for the garden. I tried out my new camera on the pile of compost. I would post them, but I am sure nobody wants to see a pile of dirt. The soil in our garden really sucks. I brought in a load of compost last year and it helped out a lot. I think this load had some animal shit in it. It smelt like a barnyard when I was unloading it. I didn't notice that smell last year. Oh well, I guess poop does the garden good.
NSFW Breakout
Now why couldn't the old Atari version be this good.
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
My Favorite Redhead
Chey was the first person to add me to their Blogroll. I feel so special now.[Listening to: Everclear - Slow Motion Daydream]
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
Fun With New Toy
I am having fun playing with my new digital camera. I wonder if Chey is having fun with her new toy?
Monday, May 12, 2003
New Toy
I didn't blog this weekend because it was nice outside on Sunday and I was playing with my new digital camera on Saturday. I got a Canon Powershot A70. Not the best camera in the world, but plenty good for me. Now I can actually take some pictures and post them. I gotta invest in some rechargeable batteries though. After about six hours of playing around with it and taking forty some pictures I pretty much drained the batteries.
Friday, May 09, 2003
Sarah Update
I have gotten over a hundred hits from people looking for Sarah Kozer from Joe Millionaire's playboy pic. If you really want to see them you can find them here.
Thursday, May 08, 2003
Penis Enlargement
I just got a package from UPS. I didn't even look if it was address to me. I just opened it. It was a bottle of Longitude the penis enlargement drug. At first I was like what? Who would order this for me? I didn't think I was that small. Then I checked the package. It was for my neighbor. A minute later the UPS guy came back because he realized his mistake. Now I know a little more than I wanted to about my neighbor. It also makes me wonder if this stuff really works and if I might need it.
Wednesday, May 07, 2003
One Month
Well, my blog had been up for a month now. It's still pretty boring. Hopefully the next month will get better.[Listening to: The Queers - Pleasant Screams]
DC?
Congratulations, you're Washington, DC., the capitol of the United States.
What US city are you? Take the quiz by Girlwithagun.
I didn't expect to be DC. I was born in Virginia though, closer to DC than any other of the cities.
Not My Day
So upgrading blogger fixed my archive problem, but now w.Bloggar doesn't work. They said it would work. Bastards. Oh well, I am sure they will have it fixed in a few days. Now I just noticed my comments aren't working. This has not been my day. I dropped a glass of Coke. Broke the glass, made a mess. Went to use a certificate for a free CD. They didn't have the new NOFX or Ozma CDs that I want. I am having troubles burning a copy of Grand Theft Auto 3 fora friendmy personal backup. I think I am going to work on my other site and listen to the latest Off The Wall. If any thing else goes wrong I am going to kill myself. Hell, I would probably mess that up too.
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
Updated Blogger
I am going to migrate my blog to the new version of Blogger that is still in beta. I hope it all works out.
Grrr
Sometimes I hate Blogger. I am having archive problems now.
What? What?
I got my new CPU fan installed today. They sure weren't kidding when they said this thing is loud. I can hardly hear myself think, but it is keeping my PC somewhat cool. I still think I might buy a new heatsink when I find one that I know is going to work better than the one I got.[Listening to: Hot Rod Circuit - Sorry About Tomorrow]
Monday, May 05, 2003
Tired
I am so fuckin' tired I don't know why I am bloging. I just got off work from a 12 hour shift at 6:00 AM and have to go to a stupid meeting from 8:00 AM to noon. I can't wait to go to bed. I hear my pillow calling. By the time I get to bed I will have been up for 24 hours. I am going to have to set my alarm today so I don't miss The Screen Savers.
Sunday, May 04, 2003
Vegetables?
Are potatoes vegetables? If so, are potato chips and french fries vegetables?
Saturday, May 03, 2003
Wash Your Genitals
At work today someone put a sticker on the bathroom mirror that says "Employees are required to wash their genitals". I thought it was so funny. I could just imagine everybody trying to wash their balls in the sink.
Friday, May 02, 2003
I was sitting around with no pants on, but I figured I better put some pants on since the UPS guy is going to be here soon with my new cpu fan.[Listening to: Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks - Pig Lib]
No Lemonhead
I was a big fan of the Lemonheads back in the day. I just download a few songs of the new Evan Dando album to see if it is worth picking up. I don't really care for any of the songs I have heard yet. Maybe the songs will grow on me, but as of now I am not getting the CD. Now I know why the record companies hate file sharing. It saved me from wasting my $15 on a CD I would never listen to.
Thursday, May 01, 2003
No Pants Day Tomorrow
Not only is it "No Pants Friday" tomorrow, it is "No Pants Day". The Knighthood of BUH celebrates no pants day every year the first Friday in May. You can even check out a couple of No Pants Day songs at here and here.
